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Looking back on swimmer struggles... an official summary

22 April 2020

Swimmer Problems

The world of competitive swimming is difficult to understand from an outside perspective. From the hours of rigorous training to the extreme frustration having missed a PB by 0.1 second, non-swimmers often find themselves asking "why?" Why voluntarily place yourself under such physical extremes?

Well, whilst a brand-new pair of Funky Trunks of Funkitas do take a little bit of sting out of the regime, there is no denying being a swimmer is, at times, just plain hard work (even harder when you don't have a pool to swim in!) However, it's what unites swimmers at the core, where we as a group, develop a bond through our unique hard work. Read on as we reminisce on some of the struggles all swimmers can relate to and hopefully overcome once we get back in the water again.

The "hand smack"

There is no description that could accurately capture the relatable pain swimmers share when they smack hands mid freestyle stroke during a training session. A moment of silence for those that have also experienced this with paddles.

"How many sets is that?"

It is amazing how in fifty metres one can lose all grip on reality, time and space. No matter how many times you tell me the amount of sets we've done or how far we've gone, it just won't sink in. And time cycles that don't start/end on the top, impossible to keep track of.

Post training carb famine

No amount of protein or fat could truly satisfy after a training session. A low-carb meal is practically no meal at all. Note: When approaching a swimmer who has not consumed carbs for more than a few hours, proceed with extreme caution.

Toe cramps

It feels like your toes are being plaited together. I don't care what any non-swimmer says, this is a REAL thing, just like hanging onto the lane rope for dear life.

Anti-fog propaganda

I was wholly convinced there was no such thing as anti-fog until I invested in a pair of Funky goggles. I don't know what kind of magic they've got along their production line... but it works.

The hair conditioner budget

To the non-swimmers out there, a swimmer approaching a week-long meet will almost certainly deny shopping trip invites. Precious dollars need to be saved on the 3748 conditioner bottles required to revive hair from its "straw state" post comp. All donations are appreciated.

People who have eyebrows

Ahh the pleasure of chlorine exposure. Straw hair, dry skin and best of all, free, involuntary and unavoidable eyebrow removal.

Pool parties

The concept of going to the pool for "fun" and not "pain" will never be understood by a competitive swimmer. If you do chose to invite a swimmer to a pool party you can find them at the food table.

Someone leaving the wall 4 seconds after you instead of five

Perhaps the most crucial one second for a swimmer. Failure to comply with this boundary could increase chances of struggle #10.

Disrespecting "foot touch etiquette"

If your foot gets touched by someone behind you in training, you move out of the way. Unless they fall within the conditions of struggle #9. In which case, remain in front to maximise irritation factor. Actions have consequences.

Note: Pain experienced as a result of these struggles can be alleviated with Funky gear and a return to the pool, fingers crossed soon enough #funkettes.

Swim together 

Bond University Swimmer Antonia Hurd is a regular writer and content contributor for Funkita and Funky Trunks, bringing athlete stories and all things swimming related to life. Antonia is currently focusing on her Biomedical Science studies and also has been featured in many past Funkita campaigns.

Swimmer Problems

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